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I love the azaleas and dogwoods that welcome me back every spring and the oh so sweet scent of wild flower and fresh cut grass that lingers all summer long like a lover’s perfume. In 33 years of marriage I never once entertained the thought of taking a mistress…short of this golf course. Selling insurance paid my bills but it is the game that has long been my passion. The first time I picked up a club I was smitten. It was an old Spaulding 3 wood with a warped shaft and leather grips so dog-eared I had to spray the thing with Krylon to keep it from slipping out of my young and eager hands. The club belonged to my old navy buddy Tommy Hall and in 1952 he taught me the basics of the game the best he could from the deck of the USS Burlington as we patrolled the hostile waters of the North Korean Seas. For hours on end he and I would refine our swings by whacking makeshift golf balls of sailors twine and duct tape from the aft deck, smoking Luckys and watching as those little gray balls. He ran laughing onto the stage, stripped himself of his white uniform and underwear and joined Kalola in the dance she was doing, his frenzied movements causing his cock to rotate like a majorette's baton."Oh, my God, no!" Elmer groaned, then manfully plowed and elbowed his way through the crowd that had now gathered around the stage. He made it and leaped up on the wooden platform, attempting to seize the wildly gyrating waiter."Leave him alone!" someone shouted. A woman jumped up behind him and began beating him on the back of the head with her handbag.Barrington-Phaff was no coward. Seeing his employee thus set upon, he hurled his bulk stageward, knocking people right and left with his huge belly and massive shoulders. He almost made it before one of the men in the crowd tripped him and another one hit him in the eye as he was going down. The hotel employees who were professional servants--not the prostitutes, beach boys and bums Lynn had influenced Elmer to hire--rallied to the.
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