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"Oh, I guess not," I said. I was feeling too embarrassed. It would be too much like performing for him."You better, or else you'll get blue balls," he cautioned me. I'd heard the myth before. "If it gets bad enough they'll fall off, you know." Bull shit!" I retorted. "That's a lie." Huh-uh! George knows a guy it happened to!" George was a tough guy who lived across the street from Jack. He was sixteen or seventeen and out of school. He hadn't graduated, he'd been kicked out repeatedly for fighting and smoking and I didn't know what else. Jack spent time with him sometimes. I didn't like him and avoided his company whenever I could. Those days when Jack wasn't hanging out with me he spent hanging out with George. I didn't understand it then.Jack calmed down and looked at me out of the corner of his eye and asked, "Well, do you want me to finish you off?" I didn't understand at first. Then I did. I mean, I thought I understood, but I wanted confirmation."What do you mean?" I can jerk. She sat up, thinking, ‘What the fuck…How could a memory from so long ago…still…hurt like it happened yesterday…’ The truth was, after their engagement was called off, she spent a lot of time still missing and thinking about Davey. Although she was working even more lately and spending so much more time out of her home, her mind was still so often distracted that she had earned the nick-name ‘Space Cadet’. ‘Shit…’ ran through her mind. Even while being on tour, she spaced out…luckily however, she mostly stayed in the present long enough to continue her drumming. Her love-life had been so neglected lately, her heart pounded more often, her body longed for Davey’s arms around her, her finger longed for the reassurance of his engagement ring. Caesii wasn’t 100% sure what she was supposed to do to stop these old feelings from rising. It was definitely impossible for her to forget about the time she had spent with Davey…three years in fact, one being engaged. If she was being honest with.
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