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Did I run away? No, I merely walked and burned the bridge. With him fuming on the other side. And I always imagine one day- one day he would find me. Find me out on those streets by myself. Demand that I get into his car. He would take me someplace, someplace where I could stay and he wouldn't worry about me. Because he would worry about me- even more so than the people related to me. In the car I imagined him asking me questions. "How long have you been out here?" A couple of months." Do any of your friends know?" No." What about your coworkers?" Nope." And your relatives?" They don't know either." And you expect me to be okay with you living out on the streets?" My mouth is shut and quiet. I'm embarrassed to reply. I wanted to say no, but the truth was yes. I did expect him to be okay. He was older, more experienced. He had other submissives just eager to be pleased by him. Yet he, he took the time and money out to see me to a safe place. He worried about me. I felt guilty. "I'm. Things kept happening, and I kept dealing with them, without any down time to reflect, examine, investigate, or review. The world conspired to keep me moving every day, all the time.After the ill-fated ISIS conflict in Texas, I took some time to seriously consider how events were managing me, instead of me managing events. That led to a discovery that my management style was hands on, right now, and nothing was too much to deal with as long as I kept steady pressure against the problem until it was resolved.Rick, Yosef, and Steve joined me in a come-as-you-are retreat, where we worked on defining and describing the way the Gray Administration went about the business of managing the federal government.What we decided was that there is never enough.There is never enough time to deliberately manage any crisis. Everything had 'right now' stamped on it and required a fast decision.There was never enough information. We constantly had to fill in the blanks, to come to some determination of.
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