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After though, in the kitchen, I could see it worked both ways, happy and sad." No, the sad was all from me. The buds put me in a calmer place, so I can put up with how shitty my life is now. If I didn't have my knowing I'd be getting high to look forward to, I'd probably go on a permanent crying jag." Mama gets real depressed. Did you see how she looked this morning? By the time she gets home, it will be worse. She might be like that for two or three weeks, and she won't eat and can't take care of herself. When she gets that way, all of us worry." Why isn't she on some mood elevators? I had some, for the first few months after Lonnie's accident. They help, but I felt out of it, and numb, for the whole time I took them. I prefer the natural way myself. The secret to depression is getting relaxed. The more relaxed you get, the less things bother you." Mama doesn't smoke though, not even regular cigarettes." You don't have to smoke it. I make a killer brownie, and my Ganja spaghetti. Us din ke baad se mera dhyan uspe se hat hi nahi raha tha. Main baar baar usko khidki se dekhti. Aur jab woh saman utha raha hota main apne aap ko uski god mein imagine karti.Main feeling leti thi jab uska lund meri chut mein hoga to meri chut paani paani ho jayegi. Yahi soch soch ke main apni chut ko masalti rehti. Lekin apne aap chut ko masalne mein woh maza nahi hai jo kisi mard ki god mein baithke uske lund pe chadne mein hai.Bas fir kya tha! Maine decide kar liya ki apni garmi isi pahaad se nikalwaungi.Ek din main Jaikishan ki dukaan pe chai ki patti lene gayi. Maine jaan boojh ke apna blouse loose kar diya taaki mere gore stann ko dekhe bina Aslam reh na paaye. Jab main dukaan mein gayi to maine dekha ki dukaan mein koi nahi tha. Maine ander dekhke aawaz lagai to Aslam ander hi tha.Woh bahar aaya aur usne mujhse poocha ki mujhe kya chahiye. Waise to mujhe uska lund chahiye the lekin mangi maine chai ki patti. Woh ander se chai ki patti ka packet lene chala gaya. Counter pe ek.
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