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.. OK, you got me, it is actually behind the stables, near the pile of manure that the stable boys shovel out every day), we find a very low ranking royal guard. Now this royal guard's only task is to make sure that no one steals the pile of manure before it can be carried away and spread on the king's vineyards as fertiliser. As you can imagine, this is a very boring job, and he usually spends most of his day fantasising about the king's only daughter. He's just getting to his favourite part of his fantasy when he is interrupted by a couple of guards on patrol, who were talking to each other about how the princess was taken from out of her bedroom as she slept last night and that a messenger has been dispatched to find a hero who will save her from the evil wizard's tower on top of Mount Goldspeak where she's been locked up.Now rescuing the princess was a huge part of his fantasy, so he took it upon himself to rescue her before the hero could. Now he needs to intercept that message,. “That does have the distinct advantage that there is nothing in this world I can think of that is less arousing than Goody Two Shoes,” he said.“Then you agree?” she squealed in triumph jumping up and moving around the table towards him.“Against my better judgement, yes I— not so fast” Rose had jumped towards him to kiss him.“What’s wrong?” she asked.“Well, I get the impression that you appreciate my current appearance, yes?”She bit her lip, smiling and looked guiltily to one side. “I do,” she said.“Then perhaps a kiss is something that can wait. You will recall what I told you about being redeemed by true love’s kiss? I am astonished to say it, but that seems like it may be a real danger now. So if you wish me to… enjoy you in this form then kissing is something that will have to wait.”Rose pouted, but then nodded. “I see your point.”“We still have a lot to talk through this evening,” said The Beast. He patted his knee. “Come sit on my lap and we’ll make a start.”Her smile restored,.
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