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As we cuddle together and enjoy the warm afterglow of our lovemaking, Iwant my pregnancy to have begun.I want so desperately to grow his baby inside of me, to bear his childrenand to be a mother. I want nothing more than to be a wife and a mother.I want to feed our baby from my breasts and care and nurture her as only amother can.I want to be there for her through periods, boys, dating, heartache,breakups, clothes, makeup, shopping pregnancy, childbirth andgrandchildren.I want all thought, all trace of my life as a man to be utterly erasedfrom history and memory forever.All that should remain is the happy contented woman lying down on the bedcradled in the arms of her man....As I regain consciousness, with my gun still to my head I again see theapparition of the goddess of life shining brightly in front of me. At themoment of my suicide she appeared and almost immediately I went into themost vivid wonderful dream of my life. When I awoke she told me I had agentle soul and that I. Slowly, as I sucked noisily on her tits, I began moving her hand along my cock, up and down through my shorts. Making her wank me off as her hand struggled to be free. I held it tighter, reassured her no one would disturb us, but her hand wriggled violently and I released it, frustratingly. ‘No’, she sighed, ‘not here, really we can’t do this.’ ‘No one will see us’, I urged her, guiding her hand back to where it was needed. She released her hand from my grip and tied up her bikini. My frustration filled me with an unreasonable anger, but I sensed she had gone further than she wished, than was right in her culture in a public place and her flushed face looked wracked with guilt. I hid my frustration, my anger but was unable to apologise. It was an uneasy silence as we walked back to her friends and the journey back was spent by both of us staring thoughtfully out of separate windows. Several days passed with unanswered messages and I began to wonder if the cultural divide was.
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