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.. W.A penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. He waddled to the nearest phone to call AAA. His car was quickly towed to the nearest garage where the mechanic told him he would need a couple of hours to check out the car. The penguin, being a good natured bird, didn’t complain but wondered off to find the closest supermarket. He proceeded to the frozen foods section and hung out near the fish sticks. After an hour he got in the freezer next to the vanilla ice cream and ate several gallons. Then he saw the time and went back to the garage covered in ice cream. The mechanic walked over to him wiping his hands and shaking his head saying, “It looks like you blew a seal.” Blushing, the penguin said, “Oh no! It’s just ice cream.”Blowing Chunks A guy walks into a bar and orders a soda. The bartender says “Whaddaya some kind of pussy?” The guy replies, “You don’t understand, last night I had 15 martinis, went home and blew chunks, and I’m kind of embarrassed.” The. This girl was precious, "This was a straight business deal. This mortgage is what is known as a non-performing asset. The bank is only allowed to have just so many of these in their loan portfolio or the feds get after them. I saved them the expense of going through the lengthy foreclosure process, which would have cost them several thousand dollars in legal fees, ten percent to the auctioneer, and much paperwork in the bank. When a home is foreclosed, the buyer at the auction has to put down about fifteen thousand dollars on a home like this and has to settle within thirty days. Now most people cannot settle on a home that quick so the only bidders are investors. Naturally, an investor is trying to buy it as cheap as possible, so the bank might take a loss on the mortgage. In the end, I think they made out better selling me the mortgage at a discount than if they foreclosed." But I still don't see what's in it for you. Why is this good for you?"Brad pulled out a Hewlett-Packard.
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