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"My bloody knickers," she said, smiling sweetly, "My arse is freezing!" "Certainly, My Dear," said Santa, telling a helper to take the things off his head and return them to her. "Are you sitting comfortably," he asked, patting her knee, his fingers, like Ipsy Wispy Spider, creeping under the hem of her dress. "No," Cindy replied."There's something sticking in my bum!" "My big belt buckle," Santa said dismissively, "Don't worry about it." "It's a bit low for a belt buckle, isn't it," Cindy frowned. "I'm wearing hipsters." Santa replied and, like Claude, looked as innocent as he could. "Mmm," said Cindy, suspiciously. Santa smiled benignly at the girl on his lap and peered at her over his wire-framed spectacles. "Have you been good," he asked. "Well," Cindy replied, " I haven't been bad. My boyfriends have never complained and I know the dwarf by the door wanted to give me one, and I'm sure Rudolph fancied me rotten!" Santa shifted uncomfortably, his 'buckle' pressing harder. " That it is! I'm not an environmental specialist, but I do sit on university committees with people who are. When we go for a drink after meetings, they lay out the scenario. Even if they're only half right, the potential disaster will change life as we know it."Ashley decided to change the subject to a more personal issue, "When we drove away, Karen told you not to forget something. Did you tie a string around your finger?" Are you sure you want to know?He stopped at a traffic light and turned to her, "No, I can remember easily. I'm supposed to tell you that I'm a lot older than you are." Duh! Even I could figure that out. Does she think I'm a simpleton?" Quite the contrary. She also said I had to tell you that I had a vasectomy, but that seemed to be unnecessary since you're on the pill." Anything else?" I guess Kim was right about his being neutered."No, I think she was looking way ahead at all the rocks in the road. She tries to coach me sometimes."Ashley laughed, "Coach or.
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