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I wouldn’t want you having too much fun now. I’m glad we got it over with. Like I said, it was a one time deal.”Oh, my poor husband. If only you knew how much fun I really had. If only I could tell you the truth. I wish I could tell you how much bigger and better they were than you. I wish I could tell you how much stronger, faster, swifter and assertive they were than you. I wish I could tell you that you opened a door that can no longer be closed. You opened my eyes to a whole new world that I never knew existed. How are you ever going to follow up what Rodney and Ken did to me? How are you ever going to measure up? How are you going to fulfill my needs and desires? You can’t. You just can’t! This was not a one time deal, babe. This was just an initiation. I belong to the boys now. And to the boys I shall remain.The following weekend, we all made plans to hang out again. I took extra time to get ready and look perfect for the boys. I showered, dried my hair and sat down to do my. . . . I was born and started my university training in West Virginia, in the Bible Belt! I was raised to respect certain moral and spiritual values and it is these concepts that have carried me through to where I am today. There’s been a fair amount of pain and a little misery but, generally, life’s delivered up on the promises. From all this I’ve learned that all philosophy is ‘bullshit’. After two years of college it was apparent that if I was to pursue my major course of study I would have to enrol in a major university on the west coast. It would mean leaving the only life I’d ever known. It would mean having to leave the few friends I’d grown up with and developing a life elsewhere. This was a prospect that I faced with both anticipation and dread. I’d never been adept at making friends and I was never the life of the party or a brilliant conversationalist. The girls in my life were not prospects for a lifetime partnership and I had experienced only the biological fulfilment,.
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