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A rounded,distinctly female mound with a good-sized nipple."Y-you're kidding," I said, bringing my other hand up and touching theother side of my chest. I found another mound there, with anothernipple. I looked down - they were definitely breasts. Big ones. "But,this is impossible." I know," he said. "I know."Shock abruptly washed over me and I started to cry.Brushing a tear aside with his finger, Dave said, "Look, Ronnie, I'msorry I scared you. I guess this took us both by surprise."I tugged the sheet over my legs and wrung it a little. "I don't want tobe a girl. What do we do now?"Dave frowned. "I suppose we could try again ... to ... you know?" To?" To ... geez, Ronnie, this is hard ... awkward. I mean, you're a guy andall ..." I don't understand." Well, I was making love to Barbie when Ronnie woke up. Maybe ... if I,umm, maybe making ... you know, love ... to Ronnie--would wake Barbieback up. And Ronnie would be back asleep and you'd wake up refreshedtomorrow, just like every. Look, I haven’t got the words for Sixties technology and the Seventies are fading rapidly: the other day I had to use Google to remember what a SCART-plug was called again. (SCART is one of the few good things the French ever invented, besides quality pastry. It was born out of protectionism, but quite by accident turned out to be extremely useful in the analogue age.)The man was browsing through my file, or what I assumed to be my file, and didn’t seem to like what he was learning about me. I started off by pretending to be in a jovial mood.“Love your office,” I said. “Glad you turned the heating on because I have a cold. Best hope I won’t sneeze on you, because I was sick all weekend.”“Mister ... ven dee kez ... teely?”“What?”“Is your name Martin vendee kestilly?”“What? Let me see that?”I almost managed to grab the file, but he snatched it away.“You don’t get to see this! What is your name?”“Martin van de Casteele.”“That’s what I said!”“Didn’t sound like it to me. Your Dutch is.
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