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But once at the bar a space in the middle opened up for me and Iwent up to the bar and ordered a white wine. The bartender brought it rightover and the first few sips blended with the strong taste of cum in my mouthbut halfway though the glass I could taste the wine. And by then some guysbegan to slide over towards me, and a few said 'Hello' and tried to makeconversation.But what does a guy say to a hooker who has just sucked off dozens of guyson the stage?I noticed that off to the side there was a small dimly lit alcove with acouch and end table in it next to the ladies room, so I picked up my drinkand headed over there and took a seat at one end. Slowly, guys begandrifting over towards me, and this group was a little more varied than theones on stage, and ranged in age from maybe 21 to their 60's. I stayed onthe couch, and finally one guy broke the ice and said 'Are you stillworking?''Of Course' I said 'interested?'He reached in his pocket for a $20 bill and handed it to me as he. I knew that she wanted an answer right now, and I also knew that I feltbroken and exhausted, totally vulnerable and at risk myself for some kindof meltdown. I was holding on to this job for dear life and simply couldnot lose it. I must have lost track of time when Jennifer startled me bysaying,"I need a decision now, right now. What are you going to do John? Give meyour new name OR turn in your ID, gather your things and walk away. I'vegot no time to waste if I need to bring in a new girl. Are you ready tobe a girl at work? Are you one of us, or are you just a quivering wimpyexcuse for a man? You don't seem much like a man to me right now."For most men, being called a sissy would be hurtful. And she was beingkind of mean to me. But her words rang true to me because my whole lifeseemed to be a constant barrage of teasing and name calling. As a manthere was little doubt that I was effeminate and a sissy. No one had everaccepted me as a man, and while my mom tried to help me as best.
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