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When you're dead, there is no more pain, and that's a good thing. The flip side is there isn't much in the way of physical sensation of the pleasurable kind either. What you have is your mind, your thoughts, your emotions. Those go on in full cinematic glory, no escaping. In a sense it's even worse than being alive because the living have their body to counterbalance their emotional side, provide sensation to add to awareness, even if it's just a hiccup or a fart.My first manifestation was like a gathering of dust motes, tiny bits of my thoughts and feelings accreting into a cohesive whole, as in a body. Have you ever woken slowly, your senses coming online one by one? It's like that, like coming up from some unknown depth into the light of awareness. An old sodden dead log floating to the surface.I became aware of myself first, trying to grasp what was happening to me, grasp that this was not the endless sleep some expect, no eternal dirt nap.When I had that settled in my mind, I. ”“Imagine what it’s like for Hailey,” Molly said. “She is the center of his world.”“I’d like to be,” Hailey said with a frown. “No, I think that’s too much pressure. Maybe that’s why I do some of the things I do.”“You do the things you do because you don’t think them through,” Katelyn said in a sharp voice. “You’d never faced a consequence so you didn’t think there were any. You’re like the rest of us. Now we know – at least I do.”Hailey was musing on Katelyn’s words when her phone rang and caused her to jump. An automatic grin spread to her face when she saw the name on the Caller ID.“Are you home?” she answered anxiously.Phil fought back a smile.“I’m going stay with Mom and Dad tonight,” he answered.“No!” Hailey wailed.“I’m kidding,” he said. “I’m back downstairs. Are you having fun?”“No,” Hailey answered.“Oh,” Phil said, surprised at the reply.“They’re drunk and annoying,” she said after she was inside the apartment. “I’m on my way down. Is that OK?”“It’s fine,” Phil said.“Good,.
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