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"We undressed to our undies and got in my bed in case Kris returned andwanted to do the same. We kissed a little but Corey did seem very tiredand not into at the moment. I held him close and delighted in having himdrift off to sleep in my arms. I savored his scent, holding him. Before Iknew it I was asleep as well.The sound of the door opening jarred me from my sleep. My eyes opened tosee Kris and Colt walking in the room. Within seconds, Corey was awake."Sorry guys," Kris commented to us."It's cool," Corey said. "I think I've slept enough." I bet you did more than sleep," Colt joked."I would have but Corey fell right to sleep..." I said."I said I was tired. You get up at six thirty and see if you aren't,"Corey said."Anyone heard from Juan lately?" Kris asked."No, I haven't. You slept with Scott last night..." I said."No, I fucking slept in his room," Kris said."Not what he told me this morning," I said."You better be fucking joking or my ass is heading down there right now andset his. I’d probably have several in a row at least, once I got going. And afterwards, would I feel fulfilled? Or empty and drained? Is a moment of pleasure, or even many moments of pleasure, better than the continual rush of desire, combined with the knowledge that I am serving a purpose? It feels good to serve a purpose. The feeling isn’t like the rush of an orgasm. It’s much more subtle. I do want to go back to the Temple, I’ve decided. But I think I should test myself further, and see if I really want this. It’s been very hard to keep the Device on when I’ve constantly known I could now remove it at any time. But then, it occurred to me, what would be harder still would be to remove it, while maintaining the same discipline. I’m now going to take it off for the night. Day 25 Last night I questioned everything. My sexuality. My sanity. My idea of what gives life purpose. Probably other things, too. I took off the Device before I went to bed last night. As soon as I did, it was as.
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