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Today I still have uncomfortable thoughts about ghouls, vampires and headless horsemen. Also objects in space hurtling in to collide with earth and destroy us all. Then there are the worries of a return of prehistoric creatures, volcanoes, tidal waves, pox, bird flu, fatal car crashes, an out of control mother-in-law and, as a journalist, being tarred and feathered and run out of town. But Virginia, the point here is that my wife apparently still considers I’m cute and that she married above herself (just joking), that I’m okay despite my weird thoughts and she believes and I pose no threat to our children, or neighborhood or indeed the entire world. Our two trust me, implicitly I believe, and if I pulled them out of their gang of friends setting off to acknowledge Halloween tomorrow there would have been stamping and crying but I would have still received the familiar ‘I love you daddy’ when kissing them good night. I’d fancy they believed I’d acted like a good daddy who was always. Why were they smiling? What did they know? I saw Janice had her laptop open... “Mrs Nering has reported a very serious finding,” Janice was still smiling, “involving her daughter. A few weeks ago actually. We’ve taken our time verifying the situation and preparing the most appropriate response.“She became concerned about all the time Christina was spending out of the house, and so she found an opportunity to check her laptop. Like most kids Christina leaves herself logged in to Google all the time, and guess what her mother found being shared in her Drive?” She stopped, waiting for me to cast myself into the abyss, while I cursed silently at that obvious, obvious timebomb.“A hot young man,” Christina’s mother stood up, “skewering my underage daughter with his huge tool,” she came right up to me, “over and over again. I was going to have you thrown out and locked up, but Janice suggested another way and the other mothers agreed.”“And skewering her young friends too,” added Janice,.
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