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There was no question that my being with Tina had a lot to do with me being calmer, not to mention less stressed out. I remained concerned about the future, but not to the same degree that I once had been.After Tina got back from visiting her sister, I had anticipated that a lot of things would be changed about the way we'd start relating to each other. When you start having sex with a woman, that changes almost everything, doesn't it? Apparently, this wasn't the case with Tina. I actually ended up seeing less of her than I had before we went upstairs to my room that one day. I started having doubts about how I'd performed with her.I thought it had been nearly perfect. the way she smelled, tasted, moved and responded were everything a man could hope for in a sex partner. This was especially true when you remember this had been our very first time to be together like that. It had been exciting, passionate, physically demanding, and very, very, satisfying for me. I had believed it was. He’d spent the rest of his bereavement leave sitting alone in the house that he’d shared with the only girl that he’d really ever loved. But she wasn’t there anymore. He made a few trips to the cemetery, thinking that maybe it might help him to talk to Maggie. But she wasn’t there either. Her body was six feet under the tombstone that he looked at. It was his first real clue that being a widower was a shitty existence. On the whole, his life wasn’t even just a pale imitation of what it had been once. Now it was a non-life. He could look after himself. He’d never been one of those men who marry somebody and they become the replacement for their mothers. Pete could cook well. He just couldn’t see a reason why he’d want to anymore, other than for basic sustenance. Things which he’d once enjoyed making for himself and Maggie just didn’t appeal to him anymore. Fuck, he said to himself, breathing didn’t appeal to him much anymore either, but he kept doing that rather automatically. He.
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