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We were living with our soul hung.But God is almighty. Unexpected happened, Nalini delivered a baby girl, she was also saved, but her conditions started deteriorating day by day. We tried to improve her health by consulting top most doctors of Ahmedabad, Mumbai and the whole country, but everything was in vain. She succumbed to her ailment after 2 years.Except doctors and nurses there was no one to solace us. Ranjana and I were weeping before each other. When I was quiet I use to solace MIL. When MIL was quiet she uses to solace me. After all I was male; I have to get composure soon. It was hard time for me to solace Ranjana. I held her in me. Many times I was caressing her back, some time caressing her cheeks, every now and than wiping her tears. Daughter Jenny was at home with a lady from my staff at her home. We were the only sole supporter and solace to each other.Slowly distance relatives and friend and few others gathered. All the rituals were carried. Jenny was present but. But days later I walked into the woods with him and told him I wanted to do it again.He yelled at me saying “What the fuck! Are you queer or something?”That paralyzed me and I never acted on that impulse again until the age of forty-eight.But, from that day on, I thought about it a lot. It became ingrained in my thoughts every time I jerked off. I desperately wanted to suck somebody off, and that need was greatly enhanced after my divorce and affairs. I even thought about eating my own cum, but every time I had an orgasm, I lost all desire to taste it. Maybe it was lack of desire, or maybe it was me was being scared of it. I also started collecting and freezing my cum, but still, couldn’t ingest it.At age forty-eight, I started going to known gay hangouts in my city. I even talked to some guys that I was attracted to. But being a timid sort, I just couldn’t get up the courage to go to second base. There were a few who asked me out, but I was too scared. What a chicken.Then one day I.
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