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I'm Kate."He was incredibly good looking. He looked around 25 or so. He was dressed well, khakis and a nice dress shirt. His hair was dark and slightly styled. He looked like a guy who didn't need to do much to make himself look irresistible. He certainly was to me. "Nice to meet you, Kate," he said with a smile as he stepped inside. "You look incredible. Your pictures were sexy, but they don't do you justice." Thank you," I blushed. "Can I get you a drink? Glass of wine?" That would be great, thanks."Dan rose to go get a glass of wine for me and my date."That's Dan, but you can just ignore him for now."I led Eric to the living room couch and as we sat I placed my hand on his thigh and immediately recoiled. My fingers had been almost halfway to his knee and I had felt his bulge all the way down there. He laughed."Don't be alarmed. I told you it was big."Still blushing, I stammered, "I had no idea it could be really that big. I hate to be forward, but there's no point beating around. I mean, yes, we were talking about that sex toy everyone and their grandma (sometimes literally) was talking, blogging, twittering and instragramming about, so that voice might be justified. But you see – sex toys just are not my thing. At all. Kinda like some people never get the hang of bidets, or quinoa, or menstruation cups, or saunas, or oral sex (both giving and receiving). Everyone knows it’s good for you, and it makes 99.9% of all people very happy, but sometimes you just end up in that 0.1%. People think you’re a naysayer, when all you really are is a ‘sorry, I think I must be doing this wrong, this isn’t fun at all, what are y’all talking about, nothing is happening’-sayer. A frustrated one because Lord knows life would be so much better if you could just enjoy yourself, and to add insult to injury, they say it’s your fault.Well, I’m owning that shit. It is my fault. My anatomy is weird, and so is my brain. Phallic bits of plastic (or glass or wood or organically harvested.
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