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It felt like she was sitting on concrete and whenever she moved around to stop her bottom from falling asleep, the scratchy, smelly cushion that stretched across the long pew would slip about and her mother would give her an angry look and tell her to stop squirming. Swinging her legs or folding paper airplanes out of the church service or making hand-puppets to dramatize the sermon would all likewise elicit clandestine swats from her mother or terse words in not-quite-whispers that drew disapproving glances from the elderly couple that sat ahead of them. Jenny always wanted to stick her tongue out and make ugly faces back at them, but knew that she’d just get another swat from her mom, and one far worse than she got for swinging her legs. It wasn’t that Jenny was a bad girl, or even particularly rowdy – there was just something about the church that made her restless. Perhaps it was the hot, soupy, air of the crowded church, which stunk of the perfume and sweat and excitement of. These were mykind of girls - fun loving, kind, smart, sexy - and I knew this was thething for me.I told the girls I was coming, packed my shit and left Jonathan a note.I went to Logan Airport in 5" stripper heels, bought a one-way ticket toSan Francisco, dealt with the 85 security issues a one-way ticket boughtwith cash causes you these days and was out here on the west coast sixhours later. That was February 2012.I wasn't sure at the time if it was a long vacation or a brand new start,but I'm still here. I found work as a waitress at a tgirl club and nowI'm a dancer at the same place. I make my own money and am living lifeon my own terms.In stories, they say it's important that the main character be someoneyou can root for. If the character is flawed and makes mistakes, thatcharacter needs to fix those mistakes and redeem themselves at the end.That way the audience goes home happy. Well, I don?t think I?mredeemable. This is real life. I am who I am. As a result,.
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