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All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!” Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night.”Kid 1: “As if.”Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”Kid 2: “You will in about nine months.”A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest. “This time, if you can beat me with no effort, we’ll stop and do something else. But you have to decisively defeat me.” I said to Meredith.She smiled and said, “To quote the great philosopher, ‘I’m gonna stomp a mudhole in you and walk it dry.’”I smiled back at her and got ready. She nodded at me and I returned it. I’d like to say that I held my own, but I didn’t. In fact, I never even saw it coming. Meredith used her magic and moved so fast that I didn’t see it till it was too late. She hit me once in the jaw and I was in the dirt again.She was standing over me again only looking at me with concern this time. I was still seeing stars as I went to sit up some.“What did you hit me with? A brick?” I asked her.“No, it might have felt like a brick, but it was just my fist ... With a little bit of human magic mixed in.” She said to me.I looked at her with a look of disbelief. “Ok, I believe you when you say that you can defend yourself,” I said to her. “I would love for you to teach me.
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