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I cringe at my crude turn of phrase, not exactly romantic, or fitting to the pious environment. ‘Aye, or both! I’ve lost more brollys in graveyards than I can count. Were you at Joe Rafferty’s funeral last year? The wind nearly blew the priest into the grave after Joe, he almost lost his wig! Think it was a wig, if it wasn’t it should have been, it had no business being called hair, I swear, it was like a giant steel grey walnut whip’. ‘With or without the nut on top?” ‘Sure his big nut was under it Mark!”. I bellow out a proper loud chuckle, but then pause to enjoy the sound of this witty, chatty, pretty girl’s laugh. It wheezes and yet tinkles like a bell at the same time, her gorgeous wonky eyes creasing up at the corners. Mistaking my sudden silence for respect she claps a hand to cover her mouth, mortified. ‘Oh bloody hell, I’m laughing at my Aunt’s funeral! I’ll be excommunicated from the family!’ ‘Think you’re safe, that last lot must’ve been athletes, look at the distance. ‘Ryan Strats? Ha, tardy again are we? Hmm?’ We? Well obviously not you, you idiotic cow. ‘Yes Ms Albick, I’m so sorry I just broke my bag outside on the pavement and my homework went everywhere, and then the bell went and everyone was rushing to the door, and I… well, yer… it took me awhile to grab all my stuff,’ Shit, I hate it when I’m nervous. Why am I even nervous around this evil cow? ‘Oh don’t worry Ryan, no need for excuses with me, remember I’m your friend here.’ Friend? Oeww ‘Well, but it isn’t an excuse, and, umm, my name’s Rye actually, yer. Sorry again, but, ah, can I go to class now?’ I mumble. ‘Sure Ryan, just remember to report to B2 for detention. After all that’s the third time this week.’ I would just love to wipe that sickly sweet smile off her face. ‘It’s Rye,’ I whisper as I walk back through the office room doors and into yet another day of hell. Well, this is my life. It’s the same every single day. I get up, get dressed, go to school, and some how I’m.
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