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What do men and tights have in common?They're both apt to cling, run, and never fit properly between your legs.What is the real difference between men and women?A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.Why do men like smart, sexy women?Opposites attract.Why is psychoanalysis so much quicker for men than for women?Men don't need to be regressed back to their c***dhood.Why are well-dressed men always married?Because their wife chooses their clothes for them.What do you call a man with only half a brain?Gifted.Why are men such wankers?Because they have a willy with a head but no brains that hangs out with two nuts and lives next door to an arsehole.What do a beer bottles and men have in common?They are both empty from the neck up.Why can women never find their way to a man's heart?Because they aim too high.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?Both of them.Why don't women talk during. "What will the law think then? Simply that Florence Levasseur, a fugitive from justice, hid herself in a grotto which fell upon her and crushed her. That's all. A few prayers for the rash creature's soul, and not another word."As for me—as for me, when my work is done and my sweetheart dead—I shall pack my traps, carefully remove all the traces of my coming, smooth every inch of the trampled grass, jump into my motor car, sham death for a little while, and then put in a sensational claim for the hundred millions."He gave a little chuckle, took two or three puffs at his cigarette, and added, calmly:"I shall claim the hundred millions and I shall get them. That's the prettiest part of it. I shall claim them because I'm entitled to them; and I explained to you just now before Master Lupin came interfering, how, from the moment that you were dead, I had the most undeniable legal right to them. And I shall get them, because it is physically impossible to bring up the least sort of proof.
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