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She enjoys a bit of a tumble with me now and then though, and at least it keeps my balls from turning blue, she don’t think her old man knows about her “morning run”, what of course she don`t know is that he does the same thing with a lady jogger each evening then jogs to the pub and I spend the evening under his chair in the saloon bar, while he and his cronies feed me crisps before we ‘jog’… home, well I jog, but he staggers, that`s if the little ginger barmaid ain`t on of course, then it`s out in the yard at the back, me tied to the fence and he cops for a knee trembler, and I`m sure he pays her too. I will give him a shock soon, cos` that fence is getting a bit shaky, and if that tasty stray comes past again waving her tail then I`m going to hang a tail on her she won`t forget, that shaky old fence will be down, and I shall be up and mounted, and I will be going to be a dad again I can tell you! The silly bitch won`t outrun me.... and if that fence collapses he will get a shock. .. What's your phone number, Madison?" Fuck you," said Madison."No, in numbers, please, I don't text that much," Devin said.Nancy cackled. "At least he isn't using the excuse to get into the girls' bathroom again."This was all getting too chummy for Madison's taste. "So, we were talking about how Nancy uglies herself up to avoid people." What, as opposed to you spending two hours on hair and makeup before a date with Craig?" Nancy laughed. "I'm a time-saver, bitch. I only spend an hour getting ugly." Well ... Nancy, I have to say, I think Madison's got a point," Devin said. "I think that, if anyone were to look at you and actually pay attention, they would see that you could be beautiful, if you wanted. But I've been in classes with you for years now and I never saw it until now--because, yeah, you do kind of deflect male attention. You put up a shield of unattractive features, and that's enough to shield your attractive ones. But all the unattractive things are purely cosmetic. You.
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