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Fortunately the floor worker came over to ask these boys for ID. They offered some lame excuse why none of them had any. I just tried to get away from them before he decided to ask for my ID as well. Ihad been specifically instructed that if anyone asked to see my ID I was to present it immediately with no argument.I went two racks down and bent over one last time to inspect a new batch of wines. This time I picked one and grabbed it. I allowed myself a small sigh, that part of my assignment was out of the way. Now I just had to get the other two items, neither of which would require bending over, and pay for them.As I stood up another customer came up to me, "Are you all right miss, I saw those guys giving you a hard time?"Forcing my voice into the light airy female sound that I had been practicing all day I replied, "Yes, I'm fine, thank you."He tried to make chit-chat as he looked me up and down, I'm sure trying to puzzle out why I was wearing a schoolgirl uniform at 8. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.4. My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."5. The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with.
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