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Furthermore, the big boats like ours had to go very slowly, making us easy to catch by rowboats and flatboats. Other than at flood stage, our travel down river was at a speed that made it impossible for small boats to catch up, so that they had to ambush us from the front and to try to make us stop. Now, with a little bit of work, those same small boats could move faster than us and could catch up to us even in a stern chase.In any case, we were still more likely to have pirates approach us from the front than from the rear, so Capt. Johnson made no effort to move the cannon to the rear of the Lovely Louise. Any stern attack would be the responsibility of the riflemen. We were ready, and a sharp lookout was maintained.Our vigilance was rewarded on the second day after leaving Pittsburgh. It was in the afternoon and the sun was low, so we had to stare into the setting sun whenever we looked toward Ohio. This meant that we did not see the pirates at first. They were able to approach. ." she smacked my nose and hushed me. I understood. Speaking wouldcost me punishment.Then she had me sit up, not the most comfortable posture with my waist socompressed, and began to apply make-up, explaining, "I want you to looklike a real prissy sissy poodle, Mimi. We wouldn't want Curt to feelthreatened by you, now would we? I made a wuff noise and nodded agreement,even though I couldn't see how any real man could be scared by me in mycurrent state. My wife worked happily, applying cosmetics to my cheeks,eyes and lips. Then she produced a pair of oversized false eyelashes andput them on me. She had me walk around on hands and knees, telling me toput a bit of sashay in my hips. She wanted my presentation to be perfect.I meekly complied and, after a few tips from her, had everything the wayshe wanted it. Then she opened the closet door to reveal the full lengthmirror on its inside. Looking at the bottom portion of the reflectingsurface, I was horrified to see my image. Not.
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